Don't Let Burnout Be Your Baseline: Diana Danielle on Thriving, Not Just Surviving

In the perspective of modern society, which remains entrenched in misogyny, a woman’s worth is frequently determined by her capacity for endurance.

Diana Danielle, an actress, singer, and mother, understands this intimately after many years struggling with unattainable expectations—juggling work, parenting, sustaining her marriage, and embodying the epitome of the "perfect woman."

The burden of managing life as a woman often involves balancing home duties, children, and career, with this responsibility largely falling on women.

"If we do not alter society’s expectations of women and how they view themselves as always needing to be 'self-sacrificing,' then the sole path to being recognized as a good mother or a good wife is by pushing ourselves into exhaustion," she stated in a podcast interview with Sinar Daily.

Diana’s comments hit a raw nerve in a society where exhaustion is seen as a badge of honor, and taking a break is often misinterpreted as idleness.

Society has consistently promoted the idea that a woman is considered "good" only when she is endlessly giving, continually active, and always worn out.

To Diana, this way of thinking is not just incorrect; it's also suffocating.

“That is the cultural expectation of women, you have to show up for everybody. You have to cook. You have to clean. You have to stretch yourself thin. You have to be tired. If you're not tired, then you're not doing enough as a woman.”

She further pointed out how, even when mental health campaigns surface, they often fail to address the root of the problem.

Recognizing the core problem, she highlighted that both women and society must strive to correct sexist attitudes; otherwise, initiatives aimed at raising awareness will merely end up as "plaster covering a wound."

Diana is unapologetically vocal about the need to challenge misogynistic expectations placed on women, yet she also acknowledges the social resistance that comes with speaking up.

As long as we continue to hold women to a sexist standard—while also expecting them to meet these standards internally—and dismiss their concerns by labeling it as 'being too feminist,' then we’re using such a detrimental term flippantly.

“But if women are drilled down to the core where burnout is the baseline, and then also covering it up with, ‘Hey, let's get together with this mental health talk and I'll give you exercises on how to breathe.’ I mean, we will still be gasping for air, right? Because we're drowning,” she said.

Untangling from centuries-long societal notions and healing begins with unlearning. For womanhood, it’s about stepping away from performative suffering and embracing self-compassion.

She thus reflected on how historical roles have shaped modern expectations towards women.

Long ago, women were assigned particular roles. Nowadays, they take on all sorts of responsibilities for everybody.

“Therefore, what we as women must do is pardon ourselves for being led to believe that this is the sole path to becoming a woman,” she stated.

For Diana, the turning point arrived when she understood that attempting to "handle everything" wasn't merely harming herself but also damaging everything surrounding her.

She acknowledged that maintaining everything proves to be costly.

Nevertheless, she doesn't view it solely as an outright loss once everything is considered. Rather, she perceives complexity, development, and valuable insights gained through difficulty.

When you attempt to grasp everything, ultimately you might end up losing everything, correct? Eventually, some compromise has to be made.

"I experienced many losses throughout my journey, yet simultaneously, I acquired numerous gains as well. Therefore, it turned out to be quite complex and nuanced. This process wasn’t simple. However, one must also serve as their own overseer," she pondered.

Diana’s message is straightforward yet crucial: strength doesn’t come from enduring hardship, and being a woman isn’t about submission.